I have had a hard time gearing up to write this post but I think I am now ready. Unfortunately, I miscarried on the 3rd. We went to the doctors for our 12 week visit, our first ultrasound, and to hear the baby's heartbeat. When the ultrasound was preformed my uterus was empty. No baby. My doctor was slightly concerned and I had told him that I had not bled or cramped at all. So he sent us over to the hospital to get another ultrasound done and he wanted a radiologist look at it. Once back to my doctors, we found out that the radiologist had found the gestational sac. I asked the doctor how old the baby had gotten. He thought I may have "miscarried" back at 5 or 6 weeks! I had my 8 week appointment where we had the full OB blood panel and all looked normal. We asked the doctor why all the blood work would come back normal if I had miscarried. He told us that sometimes it takes awhile for the body to go back to normal, and because of the progesterone supplements I have been taking; my body continued thinking and acting like it was pregnant. Therefore it never got rid of the gestational sac.
It was a complete an utter shock. We were not prepared for that news. We knew that I may have a hard time keeping the baby when I first got pregnant so for the first few weeks they did lots of blood work to make sure all my hormone levels were where they needed to be. Once we got all positive results we thought that we may be ok and that I wouldn't miscarry. That was the hardest part; we were not ready to see nothing. Because we have had some difficulty getting pregnant and we were not quite sure how we got pregnant in the first place, we anxiously asked the doctor what the next step was going to be so I could become pregnant again. He told us that we needed to get through the miscarriage first and that we would make a game plan in 2 weeks (which is this coming Wednesday). Since I had not miscarried yet, the doctor gave me some medication to help me get rid of everything. Let’s just say that I will ask for prescription medication next time. It was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. I was told that miscarrying can be a lot like being in labor and so I am grateful for the option to have an epidural when I am in labor one day.
There had been a lot of good come from this and there is a lot to be thankful for. We are thankful to know that I am able to get pregnant and that has been huge for us considering we didn’t know how we got pregnant in the first place! The Lord has been by our side through this whole thing and that is what gets us through each day. We are so grateful for family and friends who love and support us. All your prayers have been greatly appreciated and felt. We know that our time will come to begin our family and we just need to be patient. Needless to say it doesn't stop hurting instantly. It has been a very hard 2 weeks emotionally. Michael said something to me the other day that really hit me. He had said that the saying "you don't know what you have till you lose it" truly means something now. We didn't realize how attached we were already to this little one and how excited we were till it wasn't there. We are ready to hop back on the band wagon and to start trying again once we get the okay from the doctor.
Wow, I said a lot more than I expected, sorry! Last, I have to say that I could not have done it without Michael by my side. He is my angel and my strength. I thank my Father above each and every day for sending Michael to me. He is my best friend and he stands beside me through everything, I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me the way he does. It may be a long and hard road but we are willing to take it if the destination is parenthood, it will be well worth the trip!
We love you all and wish you a very Merry Christmas! Enjoy the holidays!
On my birthday we decided to go to 
We were able to attend the 
My little cousin 
Just a fun family photo!
Mike and I picked up grandma Magnusson and went up to Logan Thursday night right after work. Friday morning, mom and dad Brown, Mike and I, and grandma went to the hospital and got to see baby James and picked up the girls. 
We took them to the Pioneer Days parade in Logan and had a lot of fun! We were blessed enough to have cloudy weather so it was not TOO hot :) We then took the girls to the park and played with them for some time. Later that afternoon, Michelle and James were released from the hospital so we took dinner over and we shot off fireworks! It was a great day and it was fun to celebrate Pioneer Days with family!
Saturday morning we went to the historic site Golden Spike National Park where the Central Pacific and Union Pacific railroads met! We watched a little movie on it, saw the reenactment, took a car tour, and took a hike. It was a HOT but fun filled day! 
We had a great weekend and are trying to get ready for another week!
Good news! - Well my mom has been out here a lot helping my grandma Wagner because my grandpa has been in the hospital since February. It seems that anything and everything that could go wrong, did. Well about 6 weeks ago we though he was going down hill again and much to our surprise he made a miraculous recovery! He was able to come home on Monday and he is doing well! He is eating food for the fist time since February and we all could not be more excited from him! LOVE YOU PAPA! 
Jim Brickman - Mike and I had the chance to go see Jim Brickman in concert at an outdoor theater! He is a romantic pianist and he sings beautifully! Anyone who does not know his work needs to get to know it! Unfortunately our allergies were getting to us to we had many sniffles. Otherwise it was a very romantic night out under the stars, snuggles up in a blanket together, letting the music take effect on us!
Rogers Camping Trip - We were lucky enough to go on the annual week long Rogers camping trip down in southern Colorado. It is just my immediate family but we have a blast! This year was a little more relaxed than most years. My mom and I took naps every day, I read a book, the boys were constantly playing horse shoes, we four wheeled a ton, the boys shot guns all day long, and naturally we are like campin’ kings and queens! It did rain every day but it was kind of nice because it kept the mosquitoes away! We saw some very beautiful scenery and spent a lot of time around the camp fire and enjoyed one another’s company! We also were able to spend a day with my dad’s side of the family because my cousin Nicholas came home off his mission so we went to his homecoming! It was good to see family that we had not seen in awhile! Welcome home Nick! 
4 months ago
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